The lights are out.
You press play.
The classic Universal Studios introductions appears on the screen; in total silence a picture of the Earth rotates as bright lights shine from all the continents.
“All children grow up, except one”
PETER PAN
James Newton Howard magical soundtrack plays in the background, as we start to hear the voice of a young girl as she tells exciting and adventurous stories.
As the camera enters the classic Victorian house, we find ourselves in the children’s bedroom, filled with toys, and magical clouds painted on the ceiling.
Wendy is telling stories to her two younger brothers John and Michael, and Nana the dog,
Wendy is a stunning young lady of about 12, she has long brown hair. We see how she loves to tell wondrous stories about magical adventures to her two younger brothers.
John is the second youngest of the Darling children, he is around 8, he has short brown hair and glasses, very English looking.
Michael is the youngest of the family, he’s is around 5, he carries a small teddy bear with him at all times,
Nana is a Newfoundland dog who is employed as nanny by the Darling family in Kensington Gardens; Nana does not speak or do anything beyond the physical capabilities of a large dog, but acts with apparent understanding of her responsibilities.
As the doorbell rings we go downstairs where Aunt Millicent has arrived and is greeting George and Mary Darling.
The whole family joins in music and socializing, as the children play games. Suddenly however Aunt Millicent stated that Wendy shouldn’t be so childish anymore, as she is soon becoming a woman and how it is time for her to grow up.
She sees the trait of a woman in Wendy and speaks to her about love and marriage using some of Barrie’s wonderful dialogs.
AM- Observe Wendy’s mouth; there, hidden, in the right hand corner, is that a kiss?
Wendy- But what is it for?
AM- It is for the greatest adventure of all. They that find it…have slipped in and out of heaven.
Wendy- Find what?
AM- The one the kiss belongs to.
Wendy returns to her room upset, as the grownups have started planning her future, this will involve no more games, and been separated from her brothers.
That night, as Wendy sleeps with her long hair sprayed out on her peach colours pillow, she suddenly waked up to find a young blow hovering above her, now when I say hovering I literally mean in the air flying.
He is a young boy of about 14, he has scruffy blonde hair, beautiful wild eyes and a mischievous smile, and he is wearing what looks like leaves.
Wendy gets up startled, as the boy is scared and fly away, as he is going the window however Nana catches his shadow and wont let go, the boy flies away as the shadow quickly hides itself.
The next night the boy returns this time with a fairy, Tinkerbell.
She is a beautiful little woman, with flowing blonde hair, and tiny wings.
Wendy is woken to find the boy crying as he is unable to reattach his shadow,
She offers to sew it back on for him.
They introduce themselves and we find out that the boys name is Peter Pan, and he lives in Neverland.
Peter asks Wendy to come with him, and she finally accepts as long as her brothers can come too.
Peter- Come with me.
Wendy- I... I cannot fly.
Peter- I'll teach you.
I'll teach you to ride the wind's back.
And away we go.
Wendy- Could John and Michael come too?.
Peter- yes, Come away to Neverland.
Wendy- Oh. What about Mother? Father? Nana?
Peter- Forget them, Wendy.
Forget them all.
Come with me where you'll never, never
have to worry about grown-up things again.
Wendy- Never is an awfully long time.
And here begins the wonderful adventure of the Peter Pan and the Darling family as they travel to Neverland. A place of dreams innocence and magic.
NIce, descriptive writing style, there was a tone and a pictured visoned of what you wrote down
Thank you, the problem i found with this piece is as it is describing a movie, so many things hapen at once, and i wanted to find the right amount of information to make you have a clear picture in your head, without boring you, or giving every last detail away. what do people think?
Hi Donna,
I have just read this piece and was immediately captured by your first two short sentences. It was really effective and caught my attention because it was exciting and made me intrigued as to what was going to happen. I sometimes felt the impact of the short sentences was lost due to all the sentences being very short with few linking phrases or literary techniques being used within them. For instance, instead of writing the fact “she has long brown hair” you could make the language more descriptive but using “with chestnut hair that falls low down her back”.
Another thing you could perhaps do is introduce each family member within a narrative, rather than the list type description you have used. You mention the family is “socializing”. Maybe use that scene to describe each character’s individual features, and it might be a nice way of showing how Wendy relates to all of her brothers.
I also think that as a descriptive essay you don’t need to include the name of the composer, but I liked the mention of the music as it is an easy way to use simile and adjectives when describing the texture and tone of the music. Using “Barrie” when the reader may not necessary know who the author is may be a little confusing.
I noticed a few discrepancies with the use of tense throughout, but I also have had that problem when coming to redraft my essays.
Hope this helps. I would be grateful for your opinion on any of my essays if you get the chance.
Many thanks,
Grace